WHINE WEDNESDAY: Van Orden’s Twitter Use Wrapped

Welcome to Whine Wednesday with Derrick Van Orden, America’s fiercest keyboard warrior. We comb through the hundreds of tweets DVO posts during a week so you don’t have to. Grab a glass and join us for Whine Wednesday!

MADISON, Wis. — Van Orden has had quite the head-spinning week as evidenced by his 101 tweets. From talking about beta males to doubling down on skipping key ag hearings, you can find all the highlights (or lowlights) of Van Orden’s online presence this past week below.

DVO’S DADDY OF THE WEEK: TRUMP … AGAIN!

We know it is a bit repetitive, but Van Orden is making it necessary. He’s continuing to double down on his support of Donald Trump, even as the President’s actions have raised prices and caused uncertainty for working Wisconsinites. Van Orden has made it crystal clear that he is not backing down from the president and is even criticizing those who have.

The best part is, Van Orden seems to think there is some sort of divine intervention that will be coming down to save Wisconsinites from Trump’s policies that got us here in the first place. But, we guess this tracks for an out-of-touch D.C. politician whose priorities lie with his puppet master in Mar-a-Lago, not with the constituents back home who can’t afford groceries, gas, or rent thanks to the GOP’s reckless economic agenda. 

WORST TAKE: SCOTT PRESLER IS THE ANTI-GRIFTER

This is just laughable. Van Orden is so concerned with pleasing his party that he’s out here praising notorious grifter Scott Presler as the “anti-grifter.” Which is funny to us, because we’re pretty sure if you looked up “grifter” in the dictionary, you’d find Pressler’s headshot. This guy was literally a key organizer in the “Stop the Steal” rally on Jan. 6th. 

But listen—we’re Democrats, and we’ll admit we might be a little biased. So don’t take it from us. Take it from the people in Presler’s own circle, who have called him out as a grifter themselves. Maybe Van Orden is defending Pressler so hard because he doesn’t want his own grifting exposed—after all, this is a man who literally moved to WI-03 just to run for Congress. 

I PROMISE I’M WORKING NOT TWEETING! 

It says a lot that Rep. Van Orden felt the need to clarify that his Twitter presence extends beyond telling people to “kick rocks”—but here we are. 

This comes after new reporting revealed he’s skipped nearly half of his Agriculture Committee hearings since 2024, including several that dealt directly with the economic pressures driving Wisconsin farms out of business.

TOUCH GRASS!!!! 

This Whine Wednesday editor is once again at a loss for words. Read the screenshot below and just digest it for a second. 

Listen, we are literally political junkies who spend way too much time online, and even this rambling UFC fanfic was a lot for us to process. This is the type of stuff that belongs on AO3, not Congressman Derrick Van Orden’s twitter. It’s one thing for Van Orden to even be able to comprehend what this post is saying—and what’s more concerning is the fact that he completely agrees with this deranged post.

Sincerely, 

DVO’s Whine Club